8 Proven Strategies For Defeating The Fear of Public Speaking and 4 Myths That Won’t

Everybody has to give a public presentation every now and again.

Some people call it butterflies. Others are not so lucky. They consider getting up in front of an audience to be terrifying. If you are someone like this, you may dread a Monday morning presentation starting on the Friday before. You might have trouble sleeping Sunday morning. We’ve probably all heard about how there are many people who fear public speaking worse than death.

But the truth is, being able to present before an audience is great for your career. Public speakers command astounding paychecks for their performances. Considering some of the lesser known politicians can demand $20,000 for an hour and a half speech should convince you mastering the art of public speaking is a worthwhile venture.

But only if we could get to the point we don’t want to vomit at the idea of presenting before a group of people.

Before I launch into the tactics that will help, I want to make something clear. A little nervousness before a speech is not only okay, it’s desirable. Light butterflies or jitters wakes you up, keeps you on top of your game and will make your speech dynamic.

Heaven help the speaker who suffers no nervousness. He’s just going through the motions, reading from note cards and boring his audience to death. Or worse, he knows that he’s going to suck (pardon my French) so he doesn’t even try.

Nervousness increases your power to project yourself and roll with questions and unexpected turn of events. You’ll be more edgy, more on your toes…as a result, a better performer. Plus, after 15-30 seconds on stage most people report their nervousness goes away. Therefore, jitters are only a pre-speech concern.

As a former stand-up comic, I sometimes had a touch of stage fright. The newer people on the road had it worse than those who had been doing it for awhile. But we all knew what it was like and had our ways of dealing with it.

It always amazed me to see the various ways some people would deal with stage fright. Some would throw up before a gig and get on stage sweating like they just ran a marathon. Others would drink heavily leading people to laugh for all the wrong reasons.

Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of 8 proven strategies that defeat fear of public speaking and 4 myths that won’t:

Here are the myths that don’t work:

• Myth #1: Picture the audience naked. They will look so ridiculous your confidence will increase. You can mess up the speech but who cares, they’re naked. As unfortunate as it may seem, the audience is not naked. They’ll be fully clothed and staring at you waiting for a good performance. Do you want the expression on your face to reflect someone looking at a crowd of naked people?
• Myth #2: Drink lots of water – a belly full of water will do the trick. How about compounding your nervousness by giving yourself a stomachache and increasing your need to use the bathroom?
• Myth #3: Throw up before your presentation – ugh! Don’t even go there…
• Myth #4: Take a few swigs of alcohol or some pills to calm you down – Getting drunk or high might get rid of the apprehension, but it will ruin your presentation. You need to have all of your mental faculties. Getting stoned will only make you look stoned.

Here are 8 solid ways to kick your fear of public speaking and give a top-notch performance…

1. Prepare – It is funny the number of people who say “I’ll just wing it.” Honestly, how do they expect not to be nervous or give a crappy performance if they are just making it up as they go? Thorough preparation decreases fear and increases your confidence. Would you ever want a surgeon to just wing it? Of course not. Winging it on stage is dumb. Make sure you prepare adequately.

2. Stand up before a presentation – On your feet soldier. Standing up, takes the physical pressure off your stomach so there’s less of a nauseous feeling. You should also stand up straight with a good posture so you are conditioning a powerful stance before you go on. If you give your body the signal that you are a confident presenter by taking the stance of a confident performer, your mind and emotions will follow. As the host introduces you, the audience will see how confident you are before you even open your mouth. – Isn’t that great?

3. Open with a joke. Most skilled public speakers will open their presentation with a clean ? non offensive joke. A joke solves two purposes. 1. It builds rapport with the audience. 2. A joke allows you time to relax. Remember, if you can make it just 15 or 30 seconds, you’re home free. A joke is an easy way to make it.

4. Avoid drinks and food – It is common to get a frog in your throat before a big presentation. Anxiety causes the muscles to tighten. One of the ?cures? for this is drinking a beverage or eating. The problem with throwing food or liquid on the fire is it goes to your stomach and can intensify the nauseous feeling. The drink will go to your bladder. You don’t want to feel like you’ve got to run to the restroom 30 seconds before you go on stage do you? It’s best to just breath your way through the tension (see tip 5)

5. Breathe abdominally – You may have heard this referred to as “breathing from the diaphragm”. I like to tell people to watch how a baby breaths and you’ll see how to breathe in this way. When a baby breaths, you will see her stomach expand on the inhalation. Her stomach will contract on the exhalation. The effect of this is a much deeper and calming breath. Unfortunately, if you find yourself breathing from the chest, or worse, gasping for air, you are intensifying your anxiety. Your brain isn’t getting enough oxygen and panic reflex sets in — or so I’m told. So practice breathing from the diaphragm. Go ahead, nobody is looking and I won’t tell. Give it a try and see how relaxed you’ll become even right now.

6. Picture a standing ovation – Ahhh the standing “O”. What a night you’ve had if you get an ovation. It’s enough to give you a big head if you are not careful. But go ahead and imagine yourself giving such a terrific performance people stand applauding. Take a mental bow. Go ahead you deserve it. By vividly imagining a striking performance, you can’t worry about falling on your face. All good presenters I’ve talked to picture themselves giving a great performance before they get on stage.

7. Give in to the fear – This is a tricky one. I don’t mean to give in and crawl into a corner and weep. But instead to think “I will not fight my fear.” If you read number 6, you realize that you’re going to go for broke anyway. If you look silly or strange, so what? But the amazing outcome is, when you do let go and stop fighting it, your performance improves. The real you shines through and you won’t choke like the people who fight it.

8. Let it all go – Ok, as you leave the green room (that’s showbiz talk for where the presenters sit before a public speech) you should be walking tall and confidently – remember your mind will follow your body. One of the last thoughts you should tell yourself is “Ok, I am gonna go for it. I am going to speak loudly and confidently. I am going to make them all remember me.” You see, you’ve already committed yourself. There’s no benefit to whispering or walking out like you are facing certain death. Take it all in, the bright lights, the audience, the sounds of it all… It?s too late to turn back so just give in and project confidence – even if you don’t believe it!

Finally, acting is part of every presentation. Persuading your audience to listen and pay attention requires acting like you are someone worth listening to. You can act confident or act shy and withdrawn. Choose to be withdrawn and your audience will follow you into boredom. Choose to be confident and your audience will follow your lead. It’s not natural for most people to speak loudly and project confidence all day long. That’s why I call it acting the part of a persuasive speaker.

Top Ten Reasons Why Ants Are Better Goal Setters Than You

1. Ants follow proven instruction. When scout ants find food, they spray a pheromone and hightail it back to the nest. The pheromone makes a trail that leads back to the food. Worker Ants at the nest don’t argue that there’s a better way back to the food, they just follow the trail.

A human, though, will see a proven path to success and try to change it. They’ll think they see shortcuts and take those instead of the proven path.

I read a report recently the success rate with franchises was higher if the owner didn’t have a high IQ. Why? Because the franchisees who were smart usually veer off the proven path. They change the working formula and in doing so mess up their own success.

If you watch a scout ant, once he finds food he runs back to the nest, sometimes he gets excited and zigzags a little, he might even make a circle. When the other ants follow the trail do they say “hey we’re going in a circle? Let’s take this shortcut?” No! They follow the proven path back to the food. The result? Everyone gets the food.

2. Ants are determined. If you tell an ant there is food over a hill but there are 5 trees down blocking the path, does the ant think twice? No, an ant will climb a house 1000 times its size if it has to make its journey.

This makes a guy feel bad for putting down a research manual because it has too many pages doesn’t it? Just think of the number of people who quit because the path is “too difficult,” too hard to follow. I face that a lot with the people I mentor on computer networking.

“Brad, that book is 1800 pages long, you mean I have to know all of that?”They ask.

What would an ant say? Would an ant ever say, “You know, now that you mention it, you’re right. I never thought about it that way. It is too hard. We might as well put that big book away and work at McDonalds.”

3. Ants see defeat as only temporary. Every fall, as most southern dwellers do, I go to battle with ants coming into our house from the cold. And although I love ant attitude, Kim’s arch enemy is the ant. So I must exterminate. We have a service that sprays; I also throw out ant stop powder and use borax bait to kill off the colony.

After a week or two they are all gone. They have been defeated. But not so fast! What happens the next year? They come back in the same numbers!

Isn’t it strange that they would come back? They lost. Why would an ant set 1 foot, let alone 6 tiny ant feet in my house? Because they see defeat as only temporary. They know eventually they’ll win. Truth is, I know it too. One day, I’ll be gone, but generations of ants will still be back – until one day – possibly 2000 years from now, this house will be demolished and the ants will live here freely.

4. Ants Collaborate better than Wall Street Executives. As I touched on before, when ants search for food, they set up markers along the way, letting other ants know where the food is. If the food happens to be an insect or grub, this trail is a call to action, they work together to conquer the bug or insect and then drag it back to the nest.

Humans have the ability to collaborate as well. But most don’t do it very well. We are all out searching for our version of food, be it happiness, be it money, or health. Yet how many people do we actively collaborate with daily? How many other people do you actively work on your goals with? One? Ten?

An ant doesn’t want to hear you are not collaborating with anyone. He’d think you are crazy. He’d say you are doing it the hard way.

Napoleon Hill called collaboration the Mastermind formula. It’s true. Two brains are better than one, 3 brains are better than 2. None of us know it all. Yet, if we sit down together and give perspectives, we can help each other get what we want.

An ant won’t waste any time following the path that says “lots of food here!!!” Of course, he has to trust his comrades. But that’s what collaboration is all about. Learning different perspectives and forming relationships that profit all parties. It can’t be a 1-0 relationship. It has to be a 1 to 1 or 2-2 or 3 to 3 relationship where everyone’s needs are met.

5. Ants defend what they have and expand it. Has anyone out there had the pleasure of stepping on a fire anthill barefooted? If you’ve made this mistake, you’ve seen firsthand how an ant will defend its colony. But not only do they defend it. They are constantly expanding it. Both above and below ground, they build, build, build.

If the wind or a boot knocks over their house, they build it right back and continue expanding it.

Yet, when it comes to humans, defending our homes in the form of insurance, paint and weatherproofing can feel like a major inconvenience. And what about expanding your home? Making it better? What an inconvenience! Who wants to build a deck or add on a sunroom? That’s too much work! Especially when a new season of 24 is getting ready to start.

An ant, however, would care nothing for 24. “Nonsense!” He’d say. I’d rather have that sunroom!

6. Ants never let personalities get in the way. Now granted, Bob the ant may be a raging jerk at home, or perhaps he plays the ant equivalent to video games once the kids are in bed. But when Bob gets to work in the morning he’s all business.

You never see Bob the ant wasting precious time gossiping about Mary the ant or the queen who passed you over for the formica sanguinea promotion. No, ants may well have their own personalities, but they leave that at home.

One ant doesn’t purposefully stab another in the back just to get ahead. Another ant doesn’t steal food from the rest to hoard it all to himself.

Ants adopt at a primal level the old saying “There’s a time for work and a time for play.” They never get the two confused. When they are at work, they work, non-stop till its time for rest, then they rest.

7. Ants never spend their whole paycheck. Ants are acutely aware that a storm is coming, winter is on the horizon or the possibility of a lawn mower in the area. That is not to be negative, in every life a little rain must fall. To think you’ll never have a setback is dumb. We all have setbacks.

Ants, know they’ll have setbacks too. So what do they do? They prepare for them. They don’t simply find enough food for one week and then eat it all until the next week. No, they eat some and save some. Yet, something like 30% of the American population lives paycheck to paycheck!

Instead of saving a bit out of each check, people spend it all. You can almost hear them say “If something bad happens, I’ll deal with it then.” Again, not to be negative, but setbacks will happen. Accidents happen, winters come, floods take out houses, businesses downsize. You don’t have to dwell upon these facts, but you need to prepare yourself for them in case they do happen. If they don’t occur, then hey! You’ve got extra in your savings account.

Ants would never think to blow it all in a week’s time. They scrimp and save for the tougher times.

8. Ants expect more from themselves than should be possible.Have you ever seen an ant carrying a leaf or a stick 20 times its size? Sometimes you can catch two or three of them carrying a caterpillar and it looks like the caterpillar is floating on air.

Why would an ant ever believe that it’s possible to carry so much? Well one reason is ants brains are not so big, but the other is they are born without negative limits.

Humans, as a whole, give in to mental limits all the time. We don’t lift 10 times our weight because we either believe we can’t or never made it a focus.

I read in Men’s health last week that some bodybuilders are bench-pressing over 1000 pounds. That’s an incredible feat isn’t it? But one reason these guys can do that is they didn’t limit themselves to 100, 200 or even 500 pounds.

We have examples all around us of people who have severe handicaps, or who come from poor or abusive backgrounds, yet are able to “overcome” and achieve their life dreams.

How is that possible?

One reason is they don’t believe the limits in their physical makeup or background and upbringing. They expect more from themselves than should be possible. They know they are better than to set the ceiling so low.

9. Ants remain focused until they succeed. Have you ever seen an ant who is building its anthill suddenly stop what he’s doing and then buy a lottery ticket? No, of course not! Why? Because ants stay focused on what they are doing until they succeed.

When ants are working, they don’t take sudden detours. They don’t quit halfway through to play World of Warcraft. They pick up one rock, carry it where it needs to go and place it there. He picks up the next rock and does the same, and so on until he finishes his work.

In writing this article, I had to do something similar – so far, it’s taken 2 hours of focused attention. I sat down, wrote up the outline, point by point – until I was finished. Then it was time to write the first draft. I didn’t break off during this time and go to the driving range. I focused until I completed it. Finally, I went through the draft, correcting mistakes and misspellings, adding points where needed. But I had to keep focused the entire time. It’s not all fun, or entertaining. But if I want to finish and have something good to show for my time, the I have to stay focused on progress.

If you can focus like an ant on your progress, brick by brick, stone by stone, you can’t help but be successful.

10. Ants never give up. The typical human is easily
discouraged. For some people all it takes is one “No” and that’s the
end. If he is working on a goal and you say “no” that is usually the
end. He’ll take that as the final word and stop trying. Isn’t that
sad? If you said no to an ant, he’d simply find another way. You can
step on them, spray poison, burn them with magnifying glasses but still
they never give up.

Never give up..

Thoughts on Training Your Nervous System for More Success

“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.”
–Mahatma Gandhi

One of the fundamentals of developing new skills you can sell in the marketplace is practicing them until they are routine and easy for you to do.  If you can easily do work that others find difficult, you are well on your way to finding an area of expertise others cannot match.

One of the keys to specialization is training your nervous system to perform difficult tasks automatically. 

I am reminded of two guitar instructors I had years ago.  I wanted to learn classical guitar in my early twenties.  Classical guitar is a challenging instrument to learn because you have to use both sides of your brain at the same time.  My instructors were often saying “Brad, train your nervous system so you don’t have to think so much.” 

What they meant was if I made a habit of the difficult chord progressions, I could forget about the easy music until I got to it!then rely on simple thinking to get through that part. 

So how did they recommend I train my nervous system?  They recommended repetitive practice of difficult chords and picking.  One instructor recommended that I play one troubling chord progression over and over 10 times every day for a week to get it right.  He said “If you do that, your nervous system will learn it and you won’t have to worry about messing it up any more.” And he was right.  Although the practice was difficult at first, and boring toward the end of a week, I still can play that same piece from memory some 20 years later.

I have found this tip so valuable over the years.   It can make you an expert with little effort.  One small example in how I’ve applied it to my work is I am excellent at connecting to SQL server databases from a customized application.  Many developers hate doing SQL connections.  But I can do it without having to think about it because I spotted it as a weakness in my skills and I spent a week doing the nervous system training. 

I followed the same method described above slightly altered for software development:

1.  Write the code to connect to a database
2.  Erase all my work and write it again
3.  Repeat steps one and two 10 times a day for a week

It wasn’t all that fun.  It was tedious and boring at times. But eventually, it became a habit.  Now, I can sit down almost anywhere and bang out a customized application that will connect to a SQL Server in about 10 minutes.  I don’t really have to think about it.  This skill comes in quite handy when failures happen and quick decisions need to be made.

Do you see any weaknesses in your work in which you could use some improvement?  If so, figure out a way to break it down into small chunks.  Then you can apply the three steps above to train your nervous system to make it an integrated part of your skill set.

Links Of Interests

• Take A Cue From ‘Iron Man’
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• The Hyperconnected vs. 84% of Everyone Else on Earth
  Are we the minority? From the post “The first piece of research from Parks Associates (via Dwight Silverman and CNET) reveals that one-fifth of all U.S. heads-of-household have never used e-mail. “
  
  
• Fastest Online Dictionary in the net – DefineItFast.com
  This is a fast disctionary, but so far only 203,147 English Words
  
  

12 Superb Ways

So you’ve got a few pounds to lose. Maybe you are just starting out with your weight loss goal. Maybe you are near the end and you’ve hit a plateau. Either way, you want to lose 10 pounds in the next 30 days.

Here are 12 attitudes you can develop that will make sure you see a thinner, more healthy you by next month:

1. It’s not only possible, it’s probable – Adopting a “can do” attitude is of utmost importance if you really want to lose 10 pounds in 30 days. Abandon questions of whether it’s possible or not, of course it’s possible. But not only that, if you develop the attitudes in this article, losing 10 lbs. becomes probable. In fact you might lose more!

2. There’s no tomorrow – One key attitude all success minded people can develop is TODAY thinking, not tomorrow thinking. Saying “I’ll start tomorrow” always fails. You can’t predict what’s going to happen tomorrow. So you need to start today. If you truly want to lose 10 pounds you’ll have to start today. The clock is already ticking.

3. Cut portions, not calories – Cutting calories is a lot of work. You have to add, subtract and chart your daily meals. Instead, I suggest youcut portion size for the next 30 days. “Shrink your stomach” as grandma used to say. Eat half a sandwich instead of a full one. Eat only what it takes to survive. But don’t starve yourself, starving causes the body to store fat.

4. You are strong enough to endure the tough times – The next 30 days will be a challenge. Like a marathon runner, you’ll have some strong times and weak times. During the down times, hold onto something positive. A determined “I CAN do this!” is a good place to start. But reach deep. Pull out the very best in yourself to make it through the setbacks. Life tests us all, make sure you pass the test by keeping positive when the times get tough.

5. Resisting temptation feels good – Here’s an attitude that makes weight loss like a game. When you resist that piece of cake, feel the thrill. You should feel like you are a new person, someone strong, someone who has it all together. Good for you. You don’t have to be powerless anymore. Resisting temptation does feel good. So enjoy that feeling. Think “I conquered my sweet tooth tonight and I couldn’t be happier. It is powerless over me!”

6. Doing 10 extra minutes of exercise each day is easy – Have you ever heard the saying “the extra mile has no road blocks?” What that means is doing a little more is much easier than stopping and starting all over again. Put another way… Suppose you are walking for 20 minutes. It’s far easier to continue an extra 10 minutes than to stop and do that 10 minutes later. You are already out there, do an extra 10 minutes – it’s easy. And hey, I’ll let you even cut back intensity for that 10 minutes – just as long as you do it.

And if you haven’t started exercising, now is the time! Don’t put it off any longer. Do 10 minutes today!

7. I will do it or die trying – This attitude is a bridge burning attitude that if you feel it deep down in your gut will guarantee you’ll lose those 10 pounds. It means you are through with excuses. You’re through feeling sorry for yourself. You are going to put 110% into reaching this goal or it will be the last thing you do.

Security agents often say “no lock or alarm system will beat a determined criminal.” Why? Because a determined criminal will do it or die trying.

If you can pump up your determination to the level of some lowly criminal, you’ve got it made.

8. A Taste – Not The Whole thing – What drives me crazy about some weight loss plans is they present desserts and other high calorie foods as forbidden fruit. The problem is that if you eat something in that category, you feel bad about yourself. It becomes a colossal failure. You might think “Well, I failed last night, no sense in continuing this. I will never make it.”

That’s why I always suggest a taste, not the whole thing. A taste is a bite or two of something you like. Not the whole thing.

You can take a bite of chocolate cake and enjoy every sheer morsel of that bite. But the whole piece? Do you really need it all to be happy? If your happiness is dependent on cake, then something else is going on… and I think you know what I mean.

People long for the taste and experience, not filling their stomachs until they hurt. So a taste can go very far if you simply enjoy it, experience it. Close your eyes and soak it all in. Isn’t that better than denying yourself or feeling like junk because you ate too much?

9. I will look sooooo good – This attitude should put a smile on your face. You need to see in your mind’s eye what you’ll look and feel like when you reach the -10 lb mark. How will you look? Will you be able to fit into some jeans you outgrew? Will people notice? Sure they will. And you’ll have yourself to thank for it. So spend some time every day thinking about how good you’ll look, not how much you are missing.

By the way, if you read attitude #8 can you honestly say you are missing anything? I mean, c’mon this can be fun if you have the right attitude.

10. I am different now – If you have tried and failed, tried and failed, I have some good news. You are different now. You are different today than you were yesterday, and the day before that. As humans we are always evolving. We are always growing…like it or not.

So realizing you are a new person, you don’t have to worry about how you failed it the past. Today it will be different. You are able to cope better and stay motivated better. This time you’ll do it.

11. Just wait until they see the new me – We all like to be appreciated for what goals we achieve. This is no different, picture a scenario where you unveil yourself in 30 days before your family and friends. They see how much progress you’ve made. Picture them patting you on the back and saying “great job! I knew you could do it.”

12. It’s ONLY 2 1/2 pounds per week – Hey, I am only talking 2 1/2 pounds a week! Not 5 or 7 pounds… Just 2 1/2 pounds on average. You can do that can’t you?

This attitude is more about picturing such a small number to shoot for should be achievable in anyone’s mind. So why not you? Set 2 1/2 lbs. for each week and then do it.

By the way, I recommend not weighing every week, because sometimes you might retain water or your body may be compensating for a good week of weight loss. What we are shooting for is an average of 2 1/2 lbs. You might start out losing 5lbs. the first week and lose only 1 the second. That’s ok.

10 Brainstorming Techniques that Help Stimulate Your Individual Creativity

                       Brainstorming is a valuable method for rediscovering your creativity. Some days, you are drowning in an ocean of ideas. Others, you are looking at the desert and hoping for an oasis. You are creative, your brain just needs a bit of priming. Here are ten methods for brainstorming to get the idea river gushing.

1. Free Writing

Stream of consciousness writing is one of the most unpredictable forms of writing. You do not know where your brain will lead you, but you can be assured that it will be interesting. There is no special preparation for this method. Open a new Notepad window or pick up a sheet of paper and start writing.

2. Wordplay

Start writing poetry about your favorite topic. Use words that rhyme. Write the song that is going through your head. Pick your favorite prefix or suffix and start listing all of the words within which that fragment resides. Attempt to be as silly as possible.

3. What If?

Most novels are written on the premise of ‘what if?’ What if there were no water on our planet? What if there were too much water on the planet? What would happen if our feet were digitigrade instead of plantigrade? Ask some what if questions and see where the answers take you.

4. Mind Map

Mind mapping is an exciting method of generating ideas because you are building on the idea of ‘and then?’ You are mapping out those tangents that your mind takes. Take a concept or idea and write it in the center of your page. Write concepts and ideas around that idea until something interests you. When you exhaust the options for one of the topic, elaborate on one of the subtopics.

5. Analogy

Take two unrelated topics and attempt to connect them. Start with the question ‘How is _____ like a ______?’ and see what happens. Your brain is geared toward answering questions, so you will immediately start finding answers. Write down your list and see where it leads.

6. Role Playing

How would someone else handle the situation that you are in? What would someone else have for dinner? This exercise is all about looking at the alternative perspective to a problem. How would the person that you dislike the most care for their pets?

7. Escapism

Start with a common problem or situation that everybody has. Write a list of surreal solutions. There can be no reasonable or completely feasible answers on this list. Once you have your list, search for items which can be altered to become viable.

8. Outlining

This brainstorming technique is perfect for analytical people. This is like the mind map method. You are using writing instead of drawing to convey your ideas. Start with a broad subject and break it into subtopics. The outline method is very useful for writing non fiction.

9. 77 Storms

When you are brainstorming, aim for a specific number and do not stop until you have reached the number. Do not judge the ideas, merely fill the page. This will give you ideas and directions.

10. Questions

Look at the items which surround you and ask questions. What is the history of this object? Why is the mantlepiece made of faux wood? These questions are intended to be childlike because it will spur on your brain. Search for answers to your questions after ten minutes.

Using these creativity techniques will help you to get your ideas once again flowing like a river. Brainstorming will add that extra push to your writing and take you in exciting directions.

just join this!!!

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